First Impressions Matter (Here's How to Leave an Amazing One)
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Have you ever left a terrible first impression?
I have.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was 2003 and I just graduated with a Bachelors in Biomedical Engineering. I had an interview with Kimberly Clark and it was a very snowy day. I went to college in Michigan, so yes, Winter was really snowy 😉.
Guess how I showed up?
5 min late.
In a green turtle neck.
With snow boots.
Big surprise, I didn't get the entry level engineering job. Despite having all the "right" answers in the interview, I failed to make a great first impression and that probably cost me the job. Ouch!
We often fret about first impressions and that in itself can cause us to show up terribly (see a Saturday Night Live skit about a hilariously awkward first meeting between a man and his girlfriend's parents.)
So what does research tell us about first impressions?
First impressions are made really quickly
In a study by Princeton researchers, around 200 people participated in several experiments looking at how fast a person can form an impression on the character trait of someone else by brief exposure to their picture. In one of the experiments, participants were asked to look at 66 different faces for 100 ms, 500 ms or a full second. They then marked whether they found the face to be trustworthy or not. Other experiences looked at traits like competence and likeability.
What they found was that people can draw trait inferences by just looking at their faces within 1/10 of a second - giving them more time didn't change their judgement.
First impressions are lasting
In another study, this time at Cornell, took 55 participants and had them look at photographs of four women who were smiling in one instance and had a neutral expression in another. For each photo participants indicated whether they would be friends, indicating likeability, and her personality traits, like extroversion, agreeableness, open to new experiences etc.
Between one and six months laters, the study participants actually met with one of the photographed women and they interacted for 20 min. The participants then evaluated the woman again.
They found a strong consistency between how the participants evaluated the person based on the photograph and the live interaction.
"What is remarkable is that despite differences in impressions, participants were in fact interacting with the same person but coming away with drastically different impressions after the 20 minute interaction"
Vivian Zayas - Researcher
First impressions do matter, so that's why in this letter, I'll share some researched backed ways to show up well.
BASE PRINCIPLE
First impressions are made quickly and last for awhile.
WHAT IF?
What if you could make a great first impression? What if you could show up to that interview, that date, that meeting, that audition with full confidence?
Tips to make a great first impression:
In-person
Eye contact: the most noticed part of your face is your eyes, giving eye contact is important, just don't stare.
Real smile: smile with your eyes, make sure those eye wrinkles are in full effect.
Show your hands: the most watched Ted talks have presenters doing more hand gestures. Use them.
Raise your eyebrows: a quick raise of the eyebrows when you meet someone shows that you are happy to see them.
Keep chin neutral: when conversing try to keep a neutral chin to avoid looking like your are sneering or looking down at them.
Point your toes: Point them towards the person you are conversing with, it shows interest. Pointing away indicates you are trying to leave.
Firm unskewed handshake: have a firm and neutral shake - not being on top or below the other person's hands.
These three apply to the next section as well:
Lower your pitch: studies have shown that a lower-pitch in both in men and women are favored over higher-pitched voices.
Repeat their name: people love to hear their names, always try to use them in conversation.
Use their lingo: wherever possible, speak in the lingo they speak in (people typically favor one of their 5 senses - "I hear what you are saying" vs. "I feel you".)
Video call
Move back: Don't be too close to the camera, it can feel intimidating and intruding into personal space.
Wave hello: Use friendly hand gestures to mimic IRL.
Clean background: avoid cluttered backgrounds and laundry on the floor!
Look at the camera: spend some time looking directly into the camera and not at the screen.
Add lighting: get some lights to light up your face, don't be in the shadows... let them see you!
Check typos: make sure you have no errors.
Good grammar: a study on LinkedIn profiles found a correlation between fewer grammar mistakes with more promotions.
Make the subject line a summary: summarize the email in a phrase in the subject.
Keep it short: don't write for pages and pages.
Use appropriate tone: match tone to the type of email.
I hope these tips will help you make some fabulous first impressions!
"You never get a second chance to make a first impression."
~Will Rogers
Live your legend 🤘🏽,
Sources:
Boutin, Chad, Snap Judgements Decide a Face's Character, Psychologist Finds, Princeton University, August 22, 2006 - LINK
Willis, Janine et. al., First Impressions: Making Up Your Minds After a 100-ms Exposure to a Face, Journal of Psychology Science, July 17, 2006 - LINK
Lasting First Impressions, Neuroscience News, November 28, 2016 - LINK
Van Edwards, Vanessa, The Ultimate Guide to Making a Great First Impression, Science of People - LINK
Dunnigan, Ellen, Email Communications: 10 Tips On Making a Memorable First Impression, Accent on Business - LINK
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